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【VSPDS-170】GirlGhostStories1

Source global Wall Street Journal     time 2020-02-27 12:14:01
Typefacelarge in Small

【VSPDS-170】GirlGhostStories1 �


IhadlearnedtoseethesethingsverydifferentlysincelivingwithEllador;andasforJeff,hewassothoroughlyHerlandizedthathewasn'tfairtoTerry,whofrettedsharplyinhisnewrestraint.

Wehadbeenlivingtheremorethanayear.Wehadlearnedtheirlimitedhistory,withitsstraight,smooth,upreachinglines,reachinghigherandgoingfasteruptothesmoothcomfortoftheirpresentlife.Wehadlearnedalittleoftheirpsychology,amuchwiderfieldthanthehistory,butherewecouldnotfollowsoreadily.Wewerenowwellusedtoseeingwomennotasfemalesbutaspeople;peopleofallsorts,doingeverykindofwork.

AfterIgotoverthejartomypride(whichJeff,Itrulythink,neverfelt--hewasabornworshipper,andwhichTerrynevergotover--hewasquiteclearinhisideasof"thepositionofwomen"),Ifoundthatloving"up"wasaverygoodsensationafterall.Itgavemeaqueerfeeling,waydowndeep,asofthestirringofsomeancientdimprehistoricconsciousness,afeelingthattheywererightsomehow--thatthiswasthewaytofeel.Itwaslike--cominghometomother.Idon'tmeantheunderflannels-and-doughnutsmother,thefussypersonthatwaitsonyouandspoilsyouanddoesn'treallyknowyou.Imeanthefeelingthataverylittlechildwouldhave,whohadbeenlost--foreversolong.Itwasasenseofgettinghome;ofbeingcleanandrested;ofsafetyandyetfreedom;oflovethatwasalwaysthere,warmlikesunshineinMay,nothotlikeastoveorafeatherbed--alovethatdidn'tirritateanddidn'tsmother.

Itwasthemoredifficulttoexplaintoher,becausewethree,inourconstanttalksandlecturesabouttherestoftheworld,hadnaturallyavoidedtheseamyside;notsomuchfromadesiretodeceive,butfromwishingtoputthebestfootforemostforourcivilization,inthefaceofthebeautyandcomfortoftheirs.Also,wereallythoughtsomethingswereright,oratleastunavoidable,whichwecouldreadilyseewouldberepugnanttothem,andthereforedidnotdiscuss.Againtherewasmuchofourworld'slifewhichwe,beingusedtoit,hadnotnoticedasanythingworthdescribing.Andstillfurther,therewasaboutthesewomenacolossalinnocenceuponwhichmanyofthethingswedidsayhadmadenoimpressionwhatever.

"Ifeelitquiteclearly,"shesaidtome."Itgivesmeadeepsympathywithwhatyoufeel,nodoubtmorestronglystill.ButwhatIfeel,evenwhatyoufeel,dearest,doesnotconvincemethatitisright.UntilIamsureofthat,ofcourseIcannotdoasyouwish."

"Then,"theysaidquitecalmly,"hemustremainanabsoluteprisoner,always."

Wewereallowedtovisithimfreely,buthehadonlyhisroom,andasmallhigh-walledgardentowalkin,whilethepreparationsforourdeparturewereunderway.

WhatcouldIdo?Itoldherinsomanywordsthatwehadourunsolvedproblems,thatwehaddishonestyandcorruption,viceandcrime,diseaseandinsanity,prisonsandhospitals;anditmadenomoreimpressiononherthanitwouldtotellaSouthSeaIslanderaboutthetemperatureoftheArcticCircle.Shecouldintellectuallyseethatitwasbadtohavethosethings;butshecouldnotFEELit.

Shewasimpressedvisibly.Shetrembledinmyarms,asIheldherclose,kissingherhungrily.ButthereroseinhereyesthatlookIknewsowell,thatremoteclearlookasifshehadgonefarawayeventhoughIheldherbeautifulbodysoclose,andwasnowonsomesnowymountainregardingmefromadistance.


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